The Supreme Court is Like a Rice Cooker
Both use Advanced Fuzzy Logic
I bought this new Akura Rice Cooker made by Yum Asia for its space age looks but mostly for the product description that it operated with Advanced Fuzzy Logic. So, I just gave it a test run and am very pleased with the results. Brown rice was cooked extremely well in about 60 minutes, and the rice was fluffy and soft. The Akura can handle all types of rice from white long grain, short grain, brown and other varieties and even sticky rice. To my delight it also cooks dumplings including those wonderful soup dumplings available from Chinese specialty stores and online sources like
Now having been delighted by the rice produced by the Akura, I got to thinking what other product or institution shares the Akura’s use of “Advanced Fuzzy Logic.” And it is obvious: the United States Supreme Court, particularly with the members of the six Justice radical right wing of the Court.
So, where can one find Advanced Fuzzy Logic in the pages of U.S. Reports: in many of the leading opinions of this term and prior terms of the Court.
The Advanced Fuzzy Logic highest award has to go to Justice Thomas for his two tools of logical analysis in NY Rifle v. Bruen: originalist worship of history but more important the tool that allows you to emphasize aspects of history favorable to your decision and to completely ignore or give passing reference to those historical examples which do not support your pre-selected goal, i.e. decision. If examination of statutes from the 1700s and 1800s has pesky gun regulations, they can be ignored for more favored historical examples like those found in the Wild West of the 1800s. Interestingly, if the Thomas approach were true and utilized by other Justices, then the Constitution would be frozen on whatever historical examples the writer cares to choose. If there were not regulations of AR-15s and AK-47s in the 1800s because they did not exist then, those statutes prohibiting nothing would support allowing everyone to carry openly their own AR-15 or AK-47. If there were no historical examples of regulation of 150 mm howitzers mounted on Abrams tanks, every red-blooded American should be able to buy one and keep it on their front yard in preparation for potential invasion by someone or something.
Another finalist in the Advanced Fuzzy Logic competition is of course Justice Alito’s famous decision in Dobbs, eliminating any Fourteenth Amendment right to an abortion but completely ignoring the Thirteenth Amendment protection against involuntary servitude which should include over zealous regulation or prohibition of abortions thereby demanding the pregnant woman go to term and delivery. Alito also demonstrated Advanced Fuzzy Logic by concluding that American women had no expectation or reliance on the continuation of the fifty-year old Roe v. Wade decision because all those earlier Justices of the Supreme Court were wrong, so they could be overruled by the “correct” right leaning Justices.
Another major competitor for the Advanced Fuzzy Logic award goes to Chief Justice Roberts for his conclusion in Shelby County v. Holder that Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act, providing for pre-clearance of voting law changes, particularly in the deep south, were no longer needed so it could now be declared unconstitutional based on the right-wing historical analysis based on virtually nothing. The southern states responded within days with a whole new list of voter suppression intended to keep the Black vote down. Advanced Fuzzy Logic allowed Roberts to ignore the years of Black vote suppression, claiming it was over, but then seeing it renewed locally as soon as he declared Section 5 no longer necessary, Roberts still cast it to the historical garbage pit despite the proven continuing need for the pre-clearance procedures.
And, of course, who could forget Citizens United, a true major contender in the Advanced Fuzzy Logic competition. Corporations have First Amendment rights which they state in dollar bills delivered to their Congressional winners. Unions have the right to speak in dollars too, but it is irrelevant for constitutional adjudication that Unions have fewer dollars than Corporations with which to speak the money song.
There are so many more worthy competitors for the Advanced Fuzzy Logic Award, but our attention should be turned to what the right-wing Justices will deliver to us this term on Voting Rights, University admission policies, and a perennial favorite the Unitary, Omnipotent Legislature theory which may allow state legislatures to determine “proper” Congressional maps without pesky intervention by the state supreme courts.
Advanced Fuzzy Logic has and will play an important role in the progress or lack of it for the Nation until we get Democrats in majorities and who are willing to increase the Supreme Court to 13 Justices, i.e. one Justice for each of the 12 Circuit Courts of Appeal, plus one. Now, let’s get back to that sticky rice recipe and delicious soup dumplings.